7 of the most offensive, disgusting images ever published on the internet (that we have the decency, ethical values and common sense not to republish or share)

The internet – and indeed the world – is a disgusting, horrifying place.

Every day, everywhere, there are acts that are being carried out that are so contrary to common decency and humanity that if you knew about them you would buy a gun and climb a clock tower: acts so heinous that they go against the very idea of what it is to be a living, thinking human on this earth; acts so utterly unspeakable that, if there were images of them out there, would make the whole internet-going audience click them and link them and share them again and again and make for incredible web traffic and advertising revenue.

But unlike most websites, we’re better than that.

And so here they are. The seven most horrifying, disgusting, vomit-inducing and shocking pictures you’ll ever not see on the internet, all curated on one website.

1. This book
   

   Throughout history there have been books and literature that have touched a little too roughly on the protruding jagged and sensitive bone jutting out the broken leg of contemporary society. And thus, many, many books have been banned.

   None like this, however. Christ, the hatred in the passage above (which we’ve edited to save you endless consternation and fury) alone is just shocking. Racism. Sexism. Arguing in favour of eugenics. “But Muse and Abuse,” I hear you argue, “wouldn’t showing us this image sate our morbid curiosity AND garner you tonnes of pageviews and money? Isn’t it win-win?”. Well, yes. But we like to think that we’re better than stooping to such lows just to make the number in the top-right-hand corner of this blog a little bigger.

2. Animal abuse and cruelty
   

   Vivisection. Animal cruelty. Abuse. Sadism. Just these words are enough to make you vomit out the murdered cow or mass-slaughtered poultry you had for lunch. This picture, however, would make you outright rage and do everything in your power to repost and share your outrage online to all your friends. You know, stuff that will really change the world and end these horrific practices that you despise so much. And so, we’ve taken out everything that will purposefully offend you just because we believe that getting a few more readers than last month is simply not as important as protecting society from unnecessary depictions of senseless cruelty.

   If it helps, imagine that this image has a picture of an adorable kitten smiling innocently in a shoe three times bigger than it instead of a cow whose neck has been slit open, its helpless, tied-up hooves scraping a desperate, futile final few mad jerks as its vital fluids pool in a shallow crimson pool under its lolling tongue and insane, terrified bulging eyeballs.

3. This racist, bigoted post on Facebook
   

   We all have that friend on Facebook who defends blackface or posts News24 articles saying why black people are stupid and lesser beings. But god, this post (which we won’t share because controversy breeds controversy and doing this won’t challenge the status quo but only provide a wider audience to this person to disseminate their hateful, backward views) just takes the cake. The eugenics-supporting, supremacist, Vanilla-only-no-chocolate-allowed cake. It makes Steve Hofmeyr look like Martin Luther King for godssakes. Why would we want to share that?

   Sometimes it’s better to use our silence to doom something to die in its own stupidity and obscolecence than create a domino effect of controversy just because we want to show off how progressive and outraged we are.

4. This tweet
   

   This tweet – which links directly to an ISIS beheading video – will end your faith in humanity. That’s why – unlike CNN, the BBC or any other major news network which technically acts as an intermediary for scary terrorist training videos and PR campaigns – we have blacked it out. We know fear sells, but seeing how we don’t want to make money off people’s fear and how, because this blog has no advertising revenue activated, we actually cannot make money off your endless fear, we just won’t. We like to think we’re progressive like that.

5. This picture
   

   Honestly, this image was so unspeakably disgusting that we won’t even edit out specific parts of it. Maybe it’s child abuse. Maybe it’s sexual slavery. Whatever it is, there isn’t a need for ad-revenue-and-pageview-hungry sites like this to make these sorts of things widely accessible to a large internet-faring audience. But hey, what better way to raise awareness to stop these sick acts than to keep spreading the content they produce and gloat about on social media, right?

6. This, god help us all.
   

   This. You can't guess what’s going on in this picture (just the way it should be), but Jesus, if you had finer details, you’d want to kill yourself. Imagine the worst thing you can, and then multiply that by Satan to the power of Ebola times infinity times Justin Bieber. Whatever this image was before we tastefully redacted it, it’s simply better that you don’t live your life in constant, ceaseless terror of leaving your house.

7. This disgusting sexual act
   

   For god’s sakes, people, there might be be children out there seeing every post that you accidentally have defaulted to “public”. We would hate for these images to fall into young, innocent hands. At the most, we’re stopping accidental exposure of graphic images to blissful juvenile minds unaware of such horrors. Although, we might still make kids get a sexual fetish for shadows or silhouette porn.

   Our bad.

Pics courtesy of Photoshop God and resident editor of photography Matthew de Klerk

7 Reasons why I despise Promotion Girls (Revisited)

Ever since I posted 7 Reasons why I despise Promotion Girls almost three years ago, it has (much to my chagrin) constantly received pageviews and reader comments. Maybe it was the listicle format that seems to have gripped the world à la Buzzfeed or some people’s dislike or defence of girls women who work in promotion jobs (or maybe just the fact that my blog aggregates this post into the “Most Popular” category), but it irks me because I believe now that I have grown up just a little bit and that it’s no longer indicative of me or my beliefs. I believe I think more critically, and criticize and judge less quickly.

In the opening paragraph of the infamous post, I took a reductive Urban Dictionary description of the job and those who do it. I do not feel that way at all, nor do I believe breasts to be an important factor in a buyer’s decision-making process. And this was only the beginning of a post that embarrasses me even today.

And so, here are my 7 Reasons why you shouldn’t really despise Promotion Girls.

Reason #1: They’re basically just Walking Advertisements.

I still feel strongly about the ugly people not being promotion workers thing (although ‘ugly’ and ‘beautiful’ are highly subjective and constructed notions. I get flak from friends because I don’t see the big deal about starlets like Jessica Alba and Scarlett Johansen), but you can’t really complain about promotion girls being walking advertisements selling a brand because that’s exactly what the job description is. Analogising this to Facebook or Youtube adverts is a weak, straw-man-esque argument that doesn’t really hold water. If you’re relaxing with friends in a bar and someone comes to sell you something, you can easily just politely decline instead of taking it as a personal affront. Besides, bars are absolutely filled with adverts for cheap drinks and different brands: why pick out this one fragment as any different?

Reason #2: Dress code

The internet isn’t a great tool to search for the true representation of almost anything. Boobs and revealing clothing would probably feature highly in a search like this because that is what sticks in the minds of those taking the photographs. If there was a woman (or man) walking around in a suit trying to sell you insurance or a place at their University, the average photo-uploading male probably would not take a snapshot of this.

A woman has a right to wear what she likes and do what she wants with her own body. Yes, you can easily get embroiled in the deep debate of Agency versus Socialised Norms in a Patriarchy, but wearing a miniskirt or heels or even a bikini on a night out should not affect a women’s right to do what she pleases with her body, nor should it affect her right to hold a particular opinion about skimpy clothing and anti-sexist discourse. Wearing a skirt doesn’t make you any less of a feminist, just as not voting doesn’t mean you can’t criticize government. Jesus, I mean:

“Yes, women should be allowed to wear what they want to wear fearlessly and without shame, but this is not one of those areas where this rule applies”

?

Did I really fucking write that?

Reason #3: Insincerity

There is a thing called intersectionality where something may not be due to one thing, but rather to several things at once. As I have learnt in the past few years, correlation does not equal causation.

Women who work this job probably do so having to wear short dresses and heels, pulling long hours of being judged (as I did) and leered at (as some other guys did). If they have the strength of will to pull on a smile when they approach me, nameless douche #326, then that is something to applaud, not to attack.

Reason #4: They can’t take no for an answer

I would be hesitant today to apply so vigorously the fallacy of synecdoche. One example of something does not make the rule, and we should be wary of creating false stereotypes that simply do not exist outside of one bad example. An Afrikaans friend of mine (“friend” is used quite tolerably here) is quite distinctly racist and refuses to engage in level-headed debate with me about why his opinions are completely unfounded, self-contradictory and just plain stupid. Does that mean all Afrikaaners are racist?

Reason #5: Last night.

I’m ashamed to think I took part so viciously in what is quite clearly slut shaming . I like to consider myself more rational and more critically thinking these days (thanks in some part to excellent, inspiring blogs like Tauriq Moosa’s Against the New Taboo which features on Big Think and followed on from his previous blog, The Indelible Stamp. Again, a woman has a right to do with her body what she wants. Even if she did take a “Mandingo” (*groans, facepalms and says “Jesus Christ, did I write that as well?”*), I don’t really find prostitution morally wrong. Hell, the blogs above challenged me greatly to rethink my views on everything from infanticide to abortion, and even heavy topics like incest and pedophilia. We should also be wary about terms like “standards” and “moral degradation”. These are constructed notions that rely very heavily on one’s personal biases and worldview. Even Socrates though his generation of kids was the beginning of the end.

Reason #6: Give them an inch, and they take a mile

Jesus, Matthew, it was a joke. Lighten up. Obviously you weren’t having too much fun in the bar with your friends if you’re taking all this as mortal insults. If you don’t want to buy more than one shot, just say so. If you want your change back, just ask for it. Gahd. Although you did use some clever references and metaphors there. High five! You should work for Cracked.com

Reason 7: It’s the shallowest job. Ever.

Perhaps not. I’ve never done promotion work, and so I can’t really make an adequate judgment on the skillset required to succeed, but I can imagine it takes a lot of strength to do it until 1am and much charisma and tolerance to be able to approach drunk people and have to deal with their bullshit and their ensuing blog posts like the one I wrote all those years ago.

You see, I have two sisters (very intelligent, talented sisters at that) and I’d like to think that they can do whatever job they want without men and society judging their every move and decision, be it taking off clothes in a strip club, or selling alcohol in a bar. To those reading this, I thank you for your time and I ask you to always be careful of knee-jerk emotional reactions to something. If something disgusts you (promotion girls, gay marriage, prostitution, etc), quell that reaction and think critically about why you feel that way. What disgusts you about it, and what is the empirical basis upon which to stand this feeling? 80 years ago, many would have found the notion of interracial love, equal rights, women voting and gay marriage utterly abhorrent, but it is only through full and deep consideration of these things using a very critical viewpoint and a consideration of modern ethics that we can decide on how we as members in society should react to them.

I would also like those who commented on the last article for taking the time to challenge such judgmental and baseless notions. Never be afraid to speak up, lest we damn that which we simply don’t understand. I decided not to delete the post as I have strong views on self-censorship. I don’t want to hide how I’ve changed since the beginning of my university days. If you want to hide the real you, go on Twitter or Facebook (lol). I have had many opinions change over the past few years (such as my views on the “friendzone”, for one), and I think I’d like people to be able to see that, rather than hide behind the idea that I was always considerate and thoughtful.

As we get older, we must also grow up.