Reacting to “those femi-Nazi bitches” and the equal representation controversy that has recently swept the games industry, Men’s Rights Activists have today called for videogame developers to include more White Male protagonists in their triple-A title titles, saying that this disenfranchised minority group deserves more representation than they currently receive.
“Every day we hear the same thing: women droning on about ‘more females, more women’. What about the men? We’re bombarded with demands to make a women Thor, or a women Spiderman or woman Assassin [in Assassin's Creed Unity] or have a women in a game who doesn't wear totally skimpy bikini armour or have breasts roughly eighteen times larger than her IQ,’ said head of MRA organisation We’re The Real Victims, John Doe, “but we can see how many dozens of games are trapped in a vice-grip oppressive hegemony by woman characters who refuse to shift.”
Their list of demands now includes a male Lara Croft (Tomb Raider), a male Bayonetta, and a male Faith (Mirror’s Edge).
“Yes, we have Drake from Uncharted and Dante from Devil May Cry, but that’s not the point,” said Doe. “Women get a Women’s Day and they have a government department for their gender. Is it too much to ask that we just little bit of equality in the gaming world?”
Online commenters have since obviously agreed, saying “Come on, it’s only fair.”
“We have given women their own characters and a lot of representation in all our games. Just take a look at Call of Duty coughmuliplayercough and Dragon Age coughNPCcough. We just want a little more fairness and understanding, for them to meet us halfway.”
MRAs have, however, agreed that women should have their own videogames for themselves, to celebrate their womanliness.
“It’s only fair. We have games like Call of Duty which are filled with men and celebrate our being totally flippin’ badass,” said Doe. “In the same way, women should get their own games to celebrate their ladyiness. Like Kitchen Simulator 3 and Sandwich Tetris. You know, progressive titles.”
These games will be available for purchase in your local game store in December 1952.
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