SRC hit by councillor resignations

In a frankly unsurprising sudden shock development yesterday the Student Representative Council for Rhodes University lost three of its key members in the space of a week. The sudden resignations have left gaping holes in the Council, with the remaining members scrambling to restore order.

“We’re doing everything we can,” said hopefully not temporary Student Relations Councillor Will Mysguideu. “We should be back to our old self in no time at all.”

The council now has just four members, making it the largest working SRC since the infamous 1948 SRC that had four members and one guy who sort of did his job, kind of.

The first announcement came forward when Student Benefits Councillor Gohta Newjob and Kanpullout Firi, the Residence Councillor, both submitted their resignations. According to Noah Moorapathy, a third-year student who went to one grazzle and a student body meeting (thereby making him a relative expert among his peers), the move was not well received. 

“Miss Firi announced that she was not in residence anymore, which was strange because that’s kind of the whole the point of the job she took on  last year, isn’t it?” he said. Sources close to the ex-Councillor have pointed fingers at Tuesday's braised club steak for the sudden dramatic turn of events, citing its gross unchewability as the cause for her move.

“What with that hard meat being served with a gooey sauce over hard potatoes, I don’t see how the SRC could have avoided this catastrophe,” said Jerick Hoffay, who asked not to be named but screw him because he didn’t reply to our emails quickly enough.

The two resignations were almost immediately followed by the resignation of the council’s Media Councillor. In 2012, she ran a campaign aimed at trying to convince everyone that she could do the job, no problems. Yesterday an apology was posted by the ex-Councillor, saying that she didn’t know the job of Media Councillor involved such a heavy media focus.

She has since reportedly been nominated for the prestigious Sod Murphy prize for irony.

Upon learning that there is no Interacting With Students On A Personal Basis, Not Virtually Via Facebook, Twitter, Etc Councillor position, she decided to take the position of Student Benefits.

However, the SRC has been quick to assure fretful students that they needn’t worry. In what is being called the quickest SRC post ever on the SRC’s facebook page that totally hasn’t been hijacked by people looking to buy textbooks for their various courses, SRC President Willhyre Anybahdi reacted to student outcry by saying that the SRC was immediately looking to fill in the positions.

“After the grazzle, voting process, failed voting process, renominations and resubmissions of manifestos, second grazzle and second voting process that only just makes quorum, we should have a full SRC in time to wish us all a merry Christmas,” he said. Student Politics commentators have responded by calling it the boldest plan of the SRC since getting Jack Parow to Tri-Var, which, let's just be honest, was flippin' awesome.