In a sudden turn of events this morning the Rhodes Student Representative Council shocked the sometimes-voting student body by announcing that the usual ballot-style democratic elections for SRC portfolios would be dropped in favour of a "kiff dance competition."
According to incumbent SRC President Officer Raak Datbadhi, the move comes in hopes that "all those okes who watch Idols and Big Brother will get interested."
"We've seen in past Idols seasons that sometimes so many people vote that they get two winners at the end of the day," said Datbadhi. "We think that the possibility of accidentally having two presidents will be great."
The new electoral process started off with a surprising video released this weekend, in which the SRC showed off their preliminary dance moves in hopes to win a strong starting sentiment with the voting public. The video contains none of that usual democratic election crap, such as names, portfolio aims and goals, candidate manifesto, previous leadership credentials or current campaign mandate, and instead focuses on their skills on the dancefloor.
"Basically all the important stuff," said Datbadhi.
And according to Head of DanceSport and now expert in Student Politics Megan Bohlroom, this is a great way for students to pick out the right candidate.
"They all have a pretty similar, too-long marching intro, which makes it difficult to single one true leader out," said Bohlroom. "However, the spin, twist and pose of the Projects candidate shows that she is a truly gifted, natural-born leader with the kinds of skills that will really serve in the non-dance related side of the SRC's workload."
Other candidates also show promise.
"The tall white president dude might seem a little stiff and forced at first, but it's in that final little squat that he really shows his natural gift for leading the student body."
Other candidates, however, might suffer a stunted start.
"The 'machine-gun' move of the Oppidan Councilor might be a little too politically aligned to the ANC and 'Umshini Wami' to win over students, and the fact that some of the candidates aren't wearing overalls or purple shows that they actually don't give two flying shits about students and their needs," said Bohlroom.
However, many students remain unconvinced at the show, saying that the obvious lack of Autumn Harvest in the video means that the clip is not a valid indication of their real dance potential and thus their leadership capabilities.
"I'm somewhere between Sheldon Cooper and an IS major when it comes to dancing," said second-year BFA student Ackjulie Tahlented. "But err'body knows that when i've got ma drink own, I'm half Beyonce, half Rihanna. I'm Rihyonce, biaatch!"
Students can vote over the course of the next week, during which candidates will be staging dance-offs every lunchtime at the Kaif, with surprise choreographed flash mobs at Dining Halls to be announced this week.