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Thursday, March 14, 2013

SRC brings dishonour to its clan



The Shadow Rouge Council has shamed both its ancestors and its ninja sensei, says 8th-Dan ninjutsu master and 46-year ninja Takaeda Moshimori.

According to a press release that just appeared on our desk, seriously, we didn't even see anyone come into the office, it was just poof, bam, there it was, the SRC has broken the age-old sacred ninja brotherhood's vow of invisibility and stealth.

"It is unacceptable, and a grave dishonour to the Taishionin Ninja Brotherhood. We've been going almost 3000 years without being seen until now," said Moshimori in the release, which burst into flames after we had read it once.


One of the earliest sightings of the Shadow Rouge Council

According to the press release, the Media Councillor was the first to break the eons-old pact of silence.

The SRC has been spotted at over five public events since the beginning of the year, with regular communications with concerned students and even posts on the SRC facebook page, which has in the past been described as "an SRC ninja's paradise of shadows".

"They've had a Grazzle, two student forums, and have been visible both during the day and the night. This is unacceptable!" said Moshimori.

The SRC first joined the ranks of the ninja brotherhood in early 1925, when they learned the dark arts of never being seen until the last minute.

"Back then the Brotherhood first taught us the art of doing everything for students - hundreds of meetings every term, organising innumerable events, reducing res costs for students, saving students from DP loss and academic exclusion - all without ever being seen or acknowledged," said SRC President and 8th-Dan shadowwarrior Yokonawa Sakebade. "But we're tired of being invisible warriors. It's time that we made ourselves known."

The council has since changed its clan name to the current "Student Representative Council" to avoid further association with the brotherhood.

"We don't want to live in the shadows any more," sais Sakebade.

It's a move that students are still getting used to.

"It's very uncomfortable," said first-year Hiyam Byinbhooks. "Whenever I want to buy a something on the 'Stuff - Really Cheap!' (SRC) facebook page, I see these guys telling us about student meetings and stuff. I don't think they should be allowed to bring down the sanctity of the adverts for cheap books, digs, lifts and pancakes."

And while some students have embraced the move, many more are up in arms.

"Student res fees, parties, admin, events, societies - these are all things that happen by themselves," said third-year student Jai N. Tarsole. "We don't need some guys pretending that it's been them all along."