Showing posts with label ovation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ovation. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Man wins coveted Fest award

pic by Richie Diesterheft, Flickr

A 42-year-old man has won the coveted Stranded Bank Standing Ovation award at the Grahamstown National Festival of the Arts this weekend, after wowing audiences with his stunning portrayal of everyday life in South Africa.

The four-day immersion-performance play, which was hosted on a very much appropriate venue (the corner of Debonairs) and had several edge-of-your-seat, heart-gripping acts, such as Being Ignored By Rich People, Reeling Drunk, Passed Out and Getting Forcibly Removed By The Police, has reportedly wowed audiences with its true-to-life depiction of the ordeals poverty-stricken people in South Africa face every day.

According to award selection officials, the in-depth production values were just the first impressive point of the performance.

"Fantastic costumes, and the production values were amazing!" said Jake Manders, one of the selection committee members. "The make up was SO real. The sores on his legs and arms were so lifelike, they even appeared to pustulate with some sort of fake blood. Even the clothing appeared to be really worn in, as if he had worn that shirt for months on end without being able to afford a different one to wear."

"No detail was too small," praised the committee in their evaluation. "Even the smell of unwashed body and untreated tuberculosis was a level of verisimilitude not seen in modern theatre," they said. "Even his stomach grumbled realistically. We just don't know how he does it."

According to sources who knew the performer, the man had starved himself for almost a year and a half for the role.

After manufacturing a detailed and heartbreaking backstory (which involved childhood poverty, no education, and being kicked out of his small shack in Fingo), he went on to eat almost as little as once a day - and even then only small, insubstantial foodstuffs.

"His dedication to the act is mind-blowing," said the committee. "We haven't seen performance art be more lifelike. This borders on the insane method acting prep of Christian Bale and Heath Ledger."

The once-off performance ended yesterday afternoon with the tragic and heart-wrenching finale, in which the man passed away.

"It was very lifelike," said one festival goer. "He moaned a little, held out his hands at the audience members as if for alms, and then... his eyes just went blank. The police came and did a very good job of acting the removal of the body, caution tape and all. I felt like I was watching a real person die."

The man, whose name is not yet known, is set to receive his award (which, in unrelated news, cannot be given posthumously) next week.

B&B wins Fest ovation award

pic from FreeFoto

In what is being described as a shock development in the Arts industry, the local bed and breakfast houses and hotels of Grahamstown have been awarded the coveted Bandard Stank Standing Ovation Award for the 2013 National Arts Festival.

According to the prize selection committee, comprising some of the greatest known art, film and music critics in South Africa, the Grahamstonian accommodation industry's portrayal of housing prices was incredibly, mind-blowingly, stunningly and tautologically incredible.

"Usually it's about R700 per person per night," said famed art critic Preeten Shus. "When we saw their bold, stunning and stone-faced presentations of some R1000 per person per night excluding catering, we were blown away."

This bold performance of such crazy themes of insanity and imagination gone wild, said Shus, was an immediate shoe-in for the award.

"The last time we saw the depiction of such science fiction and what would normally be considered ridiculous was early postmodern Absurdism during the 60s," he said.

Some artists have been angered by this development saying that it denigrates the arts industry.

However, many more have resignedly accepted it.

"We took a look at our bill for the weekend of staying here and performing, and we've really got to hand it to them," said Contemporary Dancer Spinan Twist. "They've done a sterling job of making the absurd a reality."

Runner-ups included the Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA) and Rhodes University, who pretended that Tuesday's Braised Club Steak is real meat.

"The DFA had a wonderfully ridiculous claim that they'd take a harder line on diplomacy with our African neighbours, such as Zimbabwe during the elections, but those themes have been kind of done to death by their original director, Thabo Mbeki," said Shus.

"As for the Braised Steak thing, that's just a little to incredulous for our tastes."