Confessions and obsessions: the truth about the Solomon scandal

Ever since it was first started, the Rhodes University SRC facebook page has been the site of many controversies. From the very local Pink Link SRC campaign, to the reportage on the child porn shock (which, I believe, was stupid scare reportage aimed at creating controversy for controversy's sake) the site is a far cry from its intended purpose as

"... a platform provided to the students of Rhodes University to channel healthy discussions and debates on contemporary issues facing studentship, society and youth in general, as well as a forum for students to have direct contact with the SRC and other students within the University. Its aim is to be a positive, helpful aid to all students at Rhodes University." 

 And so, it was with no real surprise that scandal reared its ugly head once more - this time in the form of Michelle Solomon and the hugely (albeit very temporarily so) popular Rhodes Confessions page.

This site, to those of you who were leading a productive life outside of facebook and studying hard for your upcoming exams living under a rock for the past few days, the page allows users (anyone, be they Rhodes students, internet trolls, or Russian Bride websites) to submit their funny, witty, quirky, or troubling Rhodes-related tales, which would be posted for the world to enjoy.

Humble beginnings 

Now, there's nothing new about pages like these. The most noteworthy example of all could be PostSecret.com, but there are tonnes of other university-based ones. The Rhodes page, in fact, came into existence in response to other similar pages already in existence for other universities: there was already a Wits Confessions and UCT Confessions page, this latter one on both facebook and twitter. It was the latest fad: dozens of these things started popping up. They were probably more popular than pokemon cards of our Junior School days.

Not the be outdone, the Rhodes page soared into popularity. The site garnered several hundred posts in mere hours, and blasted over the 7000-likes milestone within a day or two (thought this could be because of exam procrastination; students would like a shit-covered stick if it could draw them away from the horrors of studying for a few hours)

And it's easy to see why: the page (as one post-closure sore-hearted user said) "transcended race, creed, sex, religion" and it was solely aimed at being an anonymous submission of funny stories that Rhodes students could relate to. And relate they did: I never knew that I wasn't the only person who hated the Library revolving door.

And some of the post were (gasp!) mature and thoughful.

 


The posts covered a variety of topics, from friendzones, drinking and partying to studying, relationship problems, and deeply personal fears. Sure, we can't trust all of these as 100% true (anonymity has its downside), but they made us all look at Rhodes and our fellow students in a different light.

For a while there, Rhodes was the envy of over universities. I walk the streets and pathways of campus with general obliviousness at my fellow Rhodents, but after this page came up, I looked at them differently. I saw past the layer of 'Serious Student', and saw the quirky, strange, funny, and troubled students for who they were: human beings with human problems, trying to make sense of this life we call university. 

And then: trouble.

Michelle Solomon is known to many students here at Rhodes. She is an arguably controversial figure who has been at the forefront of previous flamewars, though I thought that she read into things a little too much. To elaborate, there was a laughable article printed in the student newspaper Activate at the time: it was silly, to say the least - an awful piece of writing that deserved scorn and derision, but certainly not accusations of rape denialism.

Anyway, this time around Solomon wrote an article about the potential dangers of running such a site, saying that the administrators faced a risk of legal proceedings due to the content of their page.This article, drawing on advice from a Media law practitioner, basically outlined the risk of defamation cases. Understandable, to say the least: recent Twitter controversies have shown that silly Tweets can get you in a world of trouble, and the same applies to facebook.

The Rhode Confessions page, much to the ire of children students at Rhodes, then disappeared. 

Artist's impression of Rhodes students' reaction

"It was you!" they screamed in blue murder. "It's all your fault! You had to open your mouth, didn't you?!"

Now, Solomon's stance on the page is no secret: she didn't like it at all. And that's understandable. Some of the posts are puerile, some are hurtful, and a lot of them are quite self-obsessed (and all of them might be totally bulldust, basically): 

 "It's the equivalent of Post Secret for drunk undergrads. It's a jocktastic mess of alcohol, sex and, in one case, a shat in pair of jocks" - Michelle Solomon 

But that is her opinion. Opinion. Hers. Her opinion. OPINION. I don't know if the point is coming across. HER OPINION. An opinion is a subjective belief, feeling or attitude towards an issue based on personal deliberation and consideration.

Also, she thought that the page was truly progressive and well-moderated: 

 "But I just called one of the admins, and they're being pretty awesome about it. Apparently they refuse to post any confessions that could "provoke or hurt" someone, and he went out of his way to mention that they try monitor sexism as closely as they can." - Michelle Solomon

To put all misconceptions aside, she didn't take the page down. She didn't write a letter to Facebook, Inc, or protest in front of the Embassy of the Internet and finally have it forcibly removed. No. Rather, the administrators for the page (spineless moderators who probably pulled out because A- they're afraid of legal action despite none of the other discriminatory-post-filled confessions pages being sued or B - it's exams, and posting this all day constitutes a second job) are the ones who pulled the plug on the much-loved page.

Gone were the quirky, fun-loving students I had smiled at all day. In their place were children. Self-obsessed, infuriated kids who were raging because their favourite play-thing suddenly vanished into thin air.

And then some have the gall to think that the admins were "bullied into silence". They were not. Pure and simple. And sadly, no one seems to get that. Those that do are patronisingly called "mommy".

However, very worrying indeed was the hurtful and sudden militancy that popped up out of nowhere.

To Papama "Go eat a dick" Bacela, I would like to say that I find it very interesting indeed that you openly purport on your facebook profile to follow the Religious View of Christianity. I must have missed the scripture where Jesus told his disciples to eat dick. Maybe there was a mistranslation of "my body, which is given for you"?

Having spoken to Michelle (I'll call her by her first name now, because I don't like being all clinical and objective), she tells me that she received death threats, and this particularly wonderful bit of commentary from one Kevin Koekemoer: "Rape Survivor? Should have been killed." 

Now, Michelle's attitude towards the page has been, at times, a little extreme, making sweeping statements about Rhodes as an insitution and as a whole:

...but this is understandable, because of the sheer small-minded meanness of people and their hateful, hurtful reactions. 

It's shameful that people are given the power to, at any time they wish, access any piece of information or knowledge that is in the human compendium of a millenia of intellectual development, and then we use it in the same fashion as the News24 commenter bigots that we all love to think we're so much superior to. We - supposedly University students - like to think we're forward-thinking, considerate individuals, and yet we're no worse than the trolls we despise.

And yes, for those of you who are missing their Confessions fix: replacement pages have come up to fill the gap. There were three of them jumping into the open space in a matter of hours (here are the three     examples    I could find).

But the spark is gone. At best, these could garner only a few hundred likes. The steam is just not there any more - not because Michelle ruined it for all of us, but because we ruined it ourselves. We saw something that we loved, something that made us feel wonderful and special, and then we let it poison us. I see troubling parallels between the reaction to this and the religious fundamentalism that we see from time to time. Is Michelle Solomon really a Salman Rushdie? Are Confessions a religious doctrine that we have to defend with threats of death and with hateful comments saying that those who oppose it shouldn't be alive?

As Bradley Bense, our SRC Vice President, for Pete's sakes, said, "it makes me sad to have to represent students who act like this."

And I couldn't agree more.

Satan announces plans to expand Hell

Following reiterations by the major religions of the world concerning who would burn for all eternity for their sins, the Dark Lord has announced that they have been forced to begin expansions to the endless bonfire of damnation.

Hell, currently the home of endless anguish to some 5 billion souls, just isn't big enough to deal with these expected numbers, said Lucifer.

The Underlord of Anguish and Misery first started his small business 6000 years ago, after disagreements led him to his retirement and banishment from his last job at Pearly Gates, Inc. It is now the largest not-for-profit (and also not-for-prophet) self-starter organisation in existence.

"Me and the boss there had a tiff a few thousand years ago, but I think it was all for the better," he said, reclining on his atheist-skin couch. 

"We've had a booming industry in the past few millenia, and we only expect to get bigger as more religions come up."

When asked which religion he was accepting into his pits of torment, he smiled.

"We're not like that other place. We don't discriminate. If you fuck up up there, you're fucked down here. Sometimes literally," he said, pointing out a device that we won't describe except to say that it looks like it causes assloads of pain.

The move has come just in time: recently the Vatican confirmed that atheists are definitely going to hell.

"We weren't too worried about that. The Church has always been pretty clear on what happens to people who have the nerve and cheek to hold different opinions to them," he said, sipping the blood of unChristened infants.

"We've always accounted for those numbers, just as we've accounted for the people who are probably coming here because they're selfish misguided assholes who hide prejudice behind a thin veil of religious indoctrination. Besides, there's a lot more room here than people think, especially since gay people aren't coming here. Yeah, they aren't. Fucking deal with it."

Still, they've had to expand, and have even rented space on Rhodes University. 

"It's SWOT week right now over there," he said. "Hell comes in many shapes and sizes."

The Vatican could not be reached for comment. Goddamn Vodacom signal.

Government doesn't steal R10 million

In a shocking turn of developments yesterday afternoon, the government didn't steal R10 million.

According to eyewitnesses on the scene, the cash was just lying there in an account that official record keepers had totally forgotten about.

"It was earmarked for 'corruption policymaking' or 'education sector development', which was probably why everyone had forgotten it was there," said one man, Ted Manners. 

Since the report, an inquiry has revealed that some 42 MPs and 13 municipality leaders knew about the available millions, but made no discernible move to take it."

Over 55 people knew about this money, and they all didn't touch it," said the inquiry. "As such, this is the greatest step forward in South African politics since '94."

he government has been quick to respond to the matter, saying that it is outraged such a thing could have even been conceived to occur.

"We don't know why or how this happened, but we can assure the people of South Africa that we are doing everything in our power to ensure it doesn't happen again," said government spokesperson Mike Ash.

"We have a very widely-accepted image to uphold, and we want everyone to get the level of governance that they've always voted for."