A complete list of every published work on this website.
2015
July
Racist shocked at friend’s overt display of liberalism
Local bouncer douche to get GP licence plate tattoo.
Ban unhealthy smoking in bars, say disgruntled alcoholics.
June
Woman’s profile pic not fooling anyone
Study finds something that can’t be easily turned into clickbait
Man bravely captures other man saving child’s life on film
May
Facebook introduces new revolutionary new features
Black people can't be racist, and other UCT scandals
Facebook to distribute likes to cancer victims
April
Immigration - the scourge of the whole world
Stupid bitch’s New Year’s resolutions somehow still on track
Rhodents desperately seek new scapegoats
Endangered seabirds still best way to clean up oil spills
Zuma sues everyone in South Africa
Facebook user yet to prove he's against xenophobia
ANC unveils bold new “Get Something Right” plan
Flier makes it a record-breaking 178m before being binned
Iraq, Afghanistan announced US “Humanitarian intervention”
March
Dear Axe Deo – an angry letter to Axe Deodorants
UCT Press Release: Rhodes Statue will be demolished
"Cheat" lawyer receives international recognition
Google launches new Rhodes-debate-inspired App
Ex-pat prepares himself for return to South Africa
We need to ban Gay Marriage right now
Internet commenters unsure which racial epithet to use
The Rhodes Statue : what’s the big stink?
“I accidentally shat myself” admits Rhodes statue protestor
Rhodes Statue “must fall” says UCT study
Next Hunger Games novel “will be set in South Africa
Dear Nigerian lawyer overseeing my dead unknown relative's will
February
Feminist agenda’s ugly truth finally exposed
Court finds MRA misogynist “deserved” to be assaulted, murdered
Drug dealers to hire white Uni students as quality control testers
New App revolutionises how we remember Huge Life Events
Football “still definitely newsworthy” – BBC
Concert are the worst. Seriously.
Fire causes millions of Rands' worth in improvements to local art gallery
Valentiners bracing for “their lonely friend’s bullshit"
January
Black privilege: South Africa’s dark secret
Why this white South African is voting ANC
Expat missing rude South Africa
DVD companies adopt Adam Sandler anti-piracy measures -
Artist now confirmed as “true genius” after dying
World taking Apocalypse news surprisingly well
TV setting unrealistic standards for our children
Why Charles Darwin is Satan (not just a theory!)
Samsung fanboys hit back at gay Apple CEO
ISIS launches “most successful recruitment videos yet"
2014
December
Santa Claus charged with trespassing, breaking and entering
"It was my pleasure" - God to exam candidates
Plagiarist unsure how to reword original content
Scientists discover new species to force into extinction
Buzzfeed apologises for endless stream of shallow, vapid bullshit
BREAKING NEWS – TV showing mysterious images
Facebook's lawyers destroyed by simple status
Cosmopolitan mag releases shallowest edition yet
10 questions that will blow your mind and leave you speechless
Ubisoft announce upcoming release of “actually finished, playable game"
Gun debate sees massive changes to US schooling
November
Students are ultimate doomsday preppers - Study
Mass media Christmas comes early
Government begins campaign to improve graffiti
Star-soul: your horoscopes 2014
“Some Races Better Than Others” – Institute of Race Studies
Greyhound awarded 'least disgusting bus service' trophy
China wins most beautiful sunset award
New study shows wild animals totally unafraid of Earth's most vicious creature
Man in shower suddenly remembers he's a terrible person
Company to make suicide “less painful, less scary”
“Go fuck yourself” now a legally-permissible argument
Nation mourns loss of Insane Gunman, 34
Wine companies move to make wine “more student friendly"
7 of the most offensive, disgusting images ever published
Asian schoolchild drops out to complete maths doctorate, repeat school year
October
SkyNet attains self-awarness; kills itself
Humans “misrepresented” by Hollywood Alien Invasion films
“You fucking racist” – the state of debate
Third-year student is “totally screwed”
Man just cannot believe Apple Juice Special
Girl realises her life isn’t Indie music video
Why Blackface is okay: the plague of reverse racism
Incredible! Young girl gets crippling student debt at 14
The top ten most drop-dead sexy dictators of all time
Bob Mugabe land reform finally restores Zimbabwe’s wild spaces
“Why is the teaching assistant white?” and other burning questions
Feminism "could be answer" to warring cultures, peoples
Mega videogame conglomeration announce super AAA game
News organisations publish response tips for ISIS PR team
11 ways to double your iPhone battery life! #8 blew me away...
September
EA celebrates 20th anniversary of releasing the same game
Dear Black Bloggers (A Response to Dear White South Africans)
“Charring meat on fire” still best way to celebrate diverse cultures, heritage
Football fans don’t blame referee
MRAs demand more White Male Protagonists
Eskom starts star appreciation week
Gangsters protest school dropouts
Game reserves now totally safe
"Donate Money" challenge goes viral
August
Grahamstown enters history books
7 Reasons why I despise Promotion Girls (Revisited)
America to negotiate with terrorists
Artistic tendencies turn piece of crap into theatre into genius
Singing talent will be a factor this year, say Idols judges
Local teens “literally just cannot even”
Xbox user accidentally destroys all of the Middle East
Man opens restaurant after thinking up hilarious food pun
July
Swaziland witches protest govt flight restriction
Study finds 96% of men “really good at doing the sex"
Government secret service agent ordered to repay money
Most wizards “horribly underprepared” for normal society
Rhodes University to shorten semesters to two weeks
Archive footage proves cricket once contained sport
Emergency services send teen girl help
Makana launch probe into unbroken pipe
Skrillex now most highly paid, decorated Solitaire player
God personally awards ManU with win over Arsenal
Longevity, healthy lifestyle potentially fatal – Study
Russian hard diplomacy could threaten illegal downloads
Peace, security would “cripple” South African economy
Schools ban "racist, classist" Chess
Son developing nicely into entitled bigot
Celebrities unite to raise 0.00001% of their net worth for charity
GuitarHero World Number One still sucks at guitar
Teenage boy unsure whether to use smiley, heart emoticon
South Africans excited for their one day they can afford at Arts Festival
June
Angie Motshekga – Matric is “not that easy”
“Are we the Bad Guys?” – Apartheid minister diary
Catholic Church rebukes Scientific Community
Man self-immolates in front of High Court
Bunch of men kick bag of wind into net between poles
Survivor South Africa to be set in South Africa
Game of Thrones fans react in anger to announced spoiler publication
Blatter and Brazil "won't last, just a fling" - relationship experts
F1 fan, 34, singlehandedly guides Hamilton to victory
Humankind increasingly surprised it’s made it this far
Study: South Africa still not utterly ruined
“You are utterly boring” – NSA
TV Commercial product user “still not knee-deep in women"
Vodacom client accidentally climbs Kilimanjaro
Countrywide protests prove there is no Education "crisis"
I didn’t want third term – Zuma
Next Nkandla to be built entirely out of money
Hipster confused for homeless man, arrested, mistreated
Julius Malema actually a black Jesus
Agang realises most crucial weaknesses in election was honesty
Ghey, 23, hospitalised after accidentally gymming legs
Activision and Call of Duty Lead Creative Director, 3, quits
May
"I'm actually a total pussy" admits man in Tap Out shirt
Girl no longer hot enough to jump queue, get her essays done by guy friends
Girl “really starting to abuse” guy’s friendship
Dr Seuss books to be “modernised” for a new generation
New Rhodes campus newspaper causes stir
ReMax offices flooded after hot property listing
Ghey boet increasingly unsure what to call his chinas
Bigot girlfriend “definitely too hot” to dump
Zuma, Pistorius admit guilt, apologise
Small changes make Sieg Heil salute okay – NWU Potch campus study
Bunch of guys protest misandry, "Feminazi agenda"
“No idea what I’m doing” admits man in gym
Thousands of dead South Africans vote
"Taking selfie with stolen ballots also illegal" - IEC
Walt Disney Studios to remake “more realistic” childrens films
ANC hopes ANC campaign trail doesn’t ruin ANC campaign trail
April
Man sentenced to 40 years in G'town student digs -
Game of Thrones fans strike back at Twitter users
Kid doesn't develop superpowers after eating radioactive waste
SA games devs to release new 'South Africanised' World of Warcraft game
Parents bitterly disappointed with baby's first "words"
March
Muse and Abuse donates laptop, hard drives, passport to charity
Nkandla report now "least read thing on the planet"
2013
November
SA Music Union seeks chefs, businessmen, for next gig
Facebook users concerned over Giraffe takeover
Thousands sunburnt after Tornado ravages Eastern Cape
October
Thousands barely escape White Genocide
Dealers to introduce "ethical and eco-friendly" narcotics
Plan to destroy planet "well ahead of schedule"
Man with braai tongs delivers State of The Nation address
Christians, Muslims, Atheists "really bleak" after True God reveals himself
Rugby ref union to introduce new measures
Rhodes student officially Most Awkward Male in SA
September
Canoes may appear at drinking festival
Global youth shocked as WWF revealed as "fake"
Study: everything causes cancer
"Western decadence actually pretty kiff" - Al-Qaeda
August
Rhodes publishes new student cookbook
'Porn Not Horn' campaign launches
SRC election to be decided in dance-off
Water discovered in gtown pipes
RU left reeling after student votes
Rhodes SRC "not actually that shit"
Academics to sort out /10 hotness rating system
July
SRC to not reach quorum faster than ever
Man leaves insightful comment on News24, apologises
Politicos release new language handguide
White people to tackle dangerous stereotypes
Fest-goer admits: "I didn't get it."
Outcry at “Even fish vote for the ANC”
Obama Robben Island pics voted “most exciting of all fucking time"
June
Grahamstown hit with first-world problems
Drone cameraman arrested by Mandela's hospital
Guy two rows behind you now officially biggest prick alive
Racist whites accidentally go into hiding
Confessions and obsessions: the truth about the Solomon scandal
May
Satan announces plans to expand Hell
Government doesn't steal R10 million
Government to change ID photo policy
South Africa "better place" after SAPS disbanding
Vodacom to expand across Africa.
South Africa to send politicians into CAR
UCT to change attractiveness policy
April
UN to solve "first-world" problems
March
Jac labs user crashes the internet
Magistrates go on strike; police to pick up slack
"Education a terrible idea" - Department of Education
SRC brings dishonour to its clan
Department of Education to give procrastination courses
SRC prepares real-life facebook replacement
American anti-terrorism measures stop terrorist
Name-change committee to present decision
February
Rhodes Gym secrets finally uncovered
Traces of beef found in South African meat
SRC reopens poster design contest
Societies sign-ups a smashing success
SRC hit by councillor resignations
Global shortages could destroy Valentine’s
Scientists warn: First-Year spread epidemic looms
2012
November
Economy, citizens take massive knock as exams end
SRC posts in SRC page; students gasp in awe
Internet mistrust causes widespread dismay
Nkandla homestead debate heats up
Millions of Americans groan as Obama wins second term
South Africa to return to "the African Way"
McDonalds to open new chain of art galleries, libraries
PETA stand firm against (fictional) animal abuse
October
Grahamstown municipality cuts water, saves countless lives
Purple Thursday cures cancer, ends world hunger
SRC confesses guilt, apologises
Musicians charge entrance at gig, outrage audience
Apple moves to ban all white rectangles
September
Why the SRC Grazzle doesn’t matter
August
Rhodes University posters cinch award for terrible design
SRC election campaign season kicks into high gear
Top-secret Olympic success plan revealed by ANC
July
7 Reasons why I despise Promotion Girls
June
Mugabe's motorcade hits homeless man
United Nations to review ambassadorial selection policy
May
Scientist establish "scale of racism"
Rhodes food findings cause controversy
Rhode University cancels construction of pools
Spear painting "a sick misrepresentation"
Les memoires d'un tel vieil homme
April
Books, covers and everything in between
March
Innovations: behind the guitar and curtain
February
2010
November
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