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Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Kids get through family and togetherness Christmas bullshit in record time

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It was a day of smashed records, after the children of the Henderson family managed to speed through all that family and togetherness crap ...
1 comment:
Friday, December 18, 2015

Men willing to overlook most women’s flaws, finds dating study

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The common perception that men are judgemental partners was shattered today, after a ground-breaking new study found that the majority of m...
Monday, December 14, 2015

Government earmarks R4 billion to wine and dine citizens before fucking them

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Citizens can celebrate today, after the ANC government today announced plans to set aside nearly R4 billion to treat South Africans to a lo...
Saturday, November 28, 2015

They said I was crazy to try and build a spaceship that runs on toothpaste. They were right

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Pursuing your dreams isn’t easy. As any dreamer, any person who has ever followed that arduous and rocky road to your goals and desires kn...
Thursday, November 19, 2015

Vladimir Putin announces candidacy for United States Presidency

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Russian Federation President’s 2016 USA campaign promises that he’ll be “Putin you first” American voters have been left reeling today, af...
Sunday, November 15, 2015

Man in solidarity with French victims apologises for "selfish tweets, statuses"

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Citing criticisms that he “doesn’t give a crap about anyone outside of Paris” following his obligatory “#PrayForParis” tweet and Facebook ...
1 comment:
Thursday, November 12, 2015

Nkandla is totally justified and necessary

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Police Minister finds that Zuma does not have to pay back any money for the “security upgrades” to his luxury hotel in KwaZulu Natal Provinc...
Tuesday, November 10, 2015

“Growing up, things were just easier and better” misremembers old man

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A wave of nostalgia is sweeping the world today, after a man – who lived through World War 2, Apartheid and the violent civil rights prote...
Saturday, November 7, 2015

Student voter torn between best friend, guy with nice poster

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Uncertainty reigns today, after a student voter is unsure whether to cast his vote for Student President in favour of his best friend, or t...
Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Instagrammer comes to blindly obvious conclusion, quits Instagram

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Gut-wrenching feelings of shock and betrayal persist today, after 18-year-old Instagrammer Tay Kasselfey came to the self-evident conclusio...