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Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Alumnus pleased to see uni debate “still as divisive, toxic as ever”

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“Some things never change,” says 25-year-old with a smile as she scans the university’s Facebook page Rhodes University alumni are pleased...

Opinion: Kids these days spending too much time outdoors

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Guest Writer Johan Van Eksteen is back once more, folks, with those blistering words of truth and power that move whole crowds to cheers and...
Sunday, October 25, 2015

Historic protest “actually pretty damn boring”, says protester

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Pic by M de Klerk Disappointment abounds today, after protesters – who turned out in their hundreds expecting to face tear gas, stun gre...
Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Racist universities must fall, says third-year protester with late assignments

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Defiant and committed: young Jason Eames is taking a stand against racist universities and their oppressive hand-in schedules. Citing t...
Monday, October 12, 2015

School shooting not nearly serious enough to change law, society

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The nation is underwhelmed this morning, after a minor mass shooting at a primary school – which left only a meagre 24 children and a mere ...
Monday, September 28, 2015

NASA pledges $100b program to find intelligent life on Earth

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Citing the age-old adage that “you can’t run before you’ve learnt to crawl”, the National Aeronautical Space Agency has today announced the...
Monday, September 21, 2015

Turning topic into race, gender issue “exactly what was needed”

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True progress showed itself on Facebook today, after an innocent, inoffensive status was immediately turned into a racial and gender issue....
Wednesday, September 16, 2015

White girl saves Africa

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Haley Smith: part-time volunteer, Gender Studies graduate and saviour of the biggest country on Earth Famine, poverty, war and human rig...
Saturday, September 5, 2015

New diet induces rage, irritability in just three days

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Scientists are in awe today, after dieticians revealed a brand new diet that produces deep anger, stress and irritability in record time. ...
Sunday, August 30, 2015

Hero teen saves school from disaster

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Courageous jock prevents massive mass-shooting by befriending that fucking weird fedora-wearing dipstick Eugene Falentes. Mourning and hea...